Warning: This article contains discussion of suicide and details some readers may find distressing.
Two women who had never met before sat down together, united by a grief few can fully understand. Debbie Beard and Amanda Thorpe have both lost their husbands to suicide. Debbie’s husband Matt was the former Liverpool Women manager; Amanda’s husband Graham was a former England and Surrey cricketer. They came together at an event launched by the Prince of Wales and the Royal Foundation, which is urging sport at every level to make suicide prevention part of its culture.
The event marked the launch of On Your Side, a set of resources available online that aims “to make suicide prevention as much a part of sport as warm-up, training and performance”. At the event the two women spoke to the BBC’s business editor Simon Jack, who was 17 when his father took his own life.
Matt Beard died in hospital on 20 September 2025, just over a year ago. He is believed to have taken his own life, though an inquest is yet to conclude. His death came a month after he left his role as manager of Burnley Women, a post he had held for only two months. When the inquest into his death was postponed indefinitely, Burnley said they were “aware of an ongoing legal process” and would “not be making any comment at this time”.
Graham Thorpe took his own life in 2024. He had “spiralled into depression” after losing his job as a batting coach in 2022. Amanda Thorpe has said previously that she believes her husband would still be alive had he received more support from the England and Wales Cricket Board after leaving his coaching role. Following the inquest into his death, the ECB described it as “a profound tragedy” and said Thorpe’s passing was a “stark reminder” of the challenges many face with mental health.
Amanda described how Graham had been struggling for the previous year to 18 months during the Covid period. He disliked following rules, she said, and found playing under bubble conditions difficult. He had been having medication and therapy while in his job, but then lost it — a decision he did not see coming. “He did pride himself with having been in the game his whole life. He just couldn’t believe that he was blindsided by it,” she said, noting that at least two other people were sacked at the same time, something that “does happen at the end of disastrous Ashes series”.
She also spoke about a playful video Graham took at the end of a tour, after a few drinks with the opposition. One of the players sent it to two friends and it was leaked, appearing in the Sydney Morning Herald. Amanda said such drinks are normally acceptable only when you win. “He was probably in shock. He couldn’t believe it. And he was embarrassed and ashamed about this stupid video, which to me he blew way out of proportion,” she said. “But he was in this tunnel where he thought he’d messed it all up. So he went into a quick and steep decline.”
Graham had 10 therapy sessions, Amanda said. It was only after he made a very serious attempt on his life, in which he hurt himself very badly, that she learned he had mentioned suicide during those sessions — something she did not know at the time. “Of course, I feel that if I’d known, things could have been different,” she said, adding that she felt he was not really getting better and may have needed more help, perhaps residential, though they did not know where to find it.
Debbie said there were changes in Matt’s behaviour she recognised only in hindsight. The team were not performing well and there was a lot of abuse on social media; he could never speak his truth during media interviews about what was going on behind the scenes, and would sound off at home instead. She has since learned that he spoke to his brother a good deal about his mental health, but whenever she asked how things were he would insist he was all right. “He didn’t want to concern me and the family that he was having these thoughts,” she said. The sacking came out of the blue and was surrounded by speculation. He began drinking more than usual and taking risks. “So maybe that was the start of this with him,” she said.
Asked what they would encourage people to do if they see someone struggling, Debbie said the conversation is difficult but necessary — particularly for those who are with people day in and day out and can notice the changes. She described Matt as intuitive with his players, able to sense when something was wrong and to take them aside one-to-one. There is, she said, “an awful lot of emphasis on the physical side of someone’s wellbeing, but not the mental side”.
Debbie also said Matt found it hard to let players go. He would come home and describe a difficult conversation in which he had delivered bad news and there were tears, and say: “I feel guilty.” He was the one who had to break it, and he carried “tremendous guilt” about it.
Amanda said Graham’s friends in the game were “really sad and really gutted” by his death. When he was very ill, she said, he was ashamed and shut many people out, making it hard to reach him. “He would say: ‘I’ve lost all my friends.’ And I’m like: ‘You haven’t,'” she recalled. “That’s his brain… But that’s how he felt. He felt very isolated.” She described him as a tough competitor and a happy person who loved life, but stressed that “it can happen to anyone”.
Both women hope the Royal Foundation’s work will keep the conversation going and ensure the right support is available when people ask for it. Debbie said the toolkit must be followed through and there must be people to connect and talk to. She noted how hard it can be to open up to a therapist, someone “you’re going to be opening a box to”, and how important it is to trust that person and feel comfortable sharing your innermost feelings.
For Debbie, the impact is not only grief but practical. She has lost a second income while facing the same rent and bills, and must keep everything going for her children and the school runs. Amanda spoke about the guilt and the questions that remain. “Why didn’t I say that?” she said. “And you’ve got all these ‘what ifs’… I’m his wife and I still didn’t expect that to happen.” She is angry, and sad that he had to go through “such a horrible thing”. With both her daughters now away at university, she said, it was “just me and the geriatric dog. So it was quite hard.”
Debbie said it will be “a long road”, but one the two women will travel together. They met at the event and plan to meet again. “We’re part of this club that we never wanted to be in, but we are going to make people listen to what we’ve got to say,” Debbie said. “We just want to make a change and help people and just highlight it — we never want anyone else to be in this position.”
Support and help are available for anyone affected by the issues raised in this article.