Everton striker Thierno Barry has said he was “really scared” about posting a video that showed him breaking down in tears during a private training session. The 23-year-old Frenchman sat on the footage for three weeks before releasing it on his YouTube channel last month. In the video, Barry becomes frustrated and upset about his performance, leaves the session and cries, while his team works to reassure him. The next day, he reflects that it felt positive to let go, saying: “Sometimes it feels good to just lose it.”
Speaking at Everton’s training ground, Barry explained that he decided to share the moment because he wanted people to see the real him. “I said: ‘No, I just need to show myself,’” he said. “Last season I showed a version of me [that wasn’t] me and [people] need to learn about me.” He added that it was the first time he had cried in front of his friends, who usually see him as a strong person. “I’m happy that I can show that moment,” he said. “They know I care about the club and I care about playing good on the pitch.”
Everton re-posted the clip from his vlog with the caption “emotional resilience”, and comments underneath urged the player to keep his head up. Barry acknowledged the support he had received from fans and the club. “The people around me helped a lot because, like I said, I’m really hard with myself and the people with me try to help me to be more positive,” he said. He also admitted that his own inner critic can be harsher than any outside disapproval. “I’m always harder with myself, and I just need to be sometimes more calm,” he said. “Like, you’re a crying guy, and I just want to show that I’m strong to show that, because I’m not scared to show that. That’s why I posted this video.”
The striker, who moved to the Premier League from Villarreal for £27m at the age of 22, also spoke about the difficulty of adjusting to a new club and a new home. “It’s hard because it’s the hardest league in the world. New league, a new language,” said the Lyon-born player. Fans expect a lot from new signings, and Barry’s output has been a talking point. Last season he made 41 appearances and scored eight goals. This season he has already scored six, including his first Everton hat-trick against Preston North End in the Carabao Cup in August.
Barry is aware of the pressure to convert chances. “People can say I miss a lot of chances, but I also create a lot of chances,” he said in his defence. But he also knows the cost of not capitalising. “Every fan counts on you to score goals, so imagine you didn’t score, you know, for three months like me [last season] it’s difficult.” After scoring against Hull last weekend, he posted on Instagram that he was “still learning”.
This season, he says, has been easier to manage because he knows he will get more time on the pitch. “And I think when I miss that chance, seven minutes later, I have another opportunity to score. That’s a real pressure,” he said. “When I come to the ball, in my head, it’s like time stops.” The 6ft 5in forward is also finding time to celebrate on the pitch, bringing back the dab and hip-swinging celebrations. As he looks ahead to his second year with the club, he says he wants to keep focus. Asked about a possible France call-up, he replied: “I didn’t think a lot about that because for me it’s like really far, you know? I just do my job, if something happens, something happens.”